I have not joined the Army.
If it wasn't for my mother organizing an "ambush," I probably would have. I was really upset with the way I was confronted with my decision to join. My father, who's never shown me any emotion other than anger and rage, called me from Florida and told me he was crying. My brother and sister, who I usually only see if it's a birthday, holiday or something heavy needs to be moved, took time off work to visit me. My mother, who has been an almost-constant prescience in my life, was there too of course, directing the action.
I guess I could be real pissed off that my family ambushed me Thursday afternoon and challenged by decision to join the Army's infantry during wartime. I'm not though. As much as I hate to admit it, I really wasn't giving this decision much thought. I told myself I had thought about it for years, and I have been thinking about the military for years. Dad said I have had this "target fix" on being a warrior-hero soldier busting down doors in Faluja. I admit I have pretty much ignored other options and branches.
Their argument was very convincing, I promised my Dad I wouldn’t sign up Friday like I planned. I kept an appointment at the Army recruiter's office, and shared the news. While they seemed sincere in they’re promise that it was my decision regardless, they did of course give me an argument just as convincing.
The whole ordeal left my head spinning all night. I couldn't concentrate on work, I was feeling depressed and angry. I would have stayed in that mood if it weren't for a student who came to visit me (and the pretty, young, college girl who works for me) and make jokes part of the night.
I was asked by friends and family why I wanted to join. Each time I had a different answer. Honestly, I think I really wanted to join to get out of here, out of my job, out of my house, out of my responsibilities and obligations, and out of myself.
Most of all, and I’ve said this before, I want to do something that matters. I still want to do something that matters, maybe the Coast Guard?
2 comments:
i'm kinda glad to read this post. i wanted to add my two cents earlier when you posted about the army, but i didnt really feel it was my place. i guess my main point would be that once the fantasy wears off you'll be stuck with the reality of where this path will take you, and i really hope you consider everything and make sure it's a decision you wanna make. you have my best wishes either way though!
There are many ways to serve your government, if public service is the appeal.
When I was 24, I gave 6 months of my life to the US Park Service as a V.I.P.--I wanted a Walden period to clear my head (& heart) and wanted to contribute something more than my taxes to my favorite federal presence.
http://www.nps.gov/volunteer/
The wife and I once talked about the Peace Corps too, though that's unlikely now that we are parents:
http://www.peacecorps.gov/
These can lead to career opportunities much in the way that the armed forces can, but they don't have legions of recruiters so they're off the map a bit.
There are many other such opportunities around with either federal agencies or NGOs. Of course, few will offer the potential for the "ultimate sacrifice" that the armed forces do, if that's the appeal and you believe in such a thing.
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